Monday, 21 August 2017

Movies: Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets (12A), Atomic Blonde (15), The Dark Tower (12A) & The Hitman’s Bodyguard (15)

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets (12A) – what’s it about? The story follows Valerian an officer who must battle against dark forces to save Alpha.

This was a nice bit of sci-fi which was refreshing to see and in parts it reminded me of the Fifth Element and Avatar but not enough that it should be compared to such films as it’s not that much of an epic movie. It had its moments which were pretty great and some good plot but there were bits that left me wanting answers – like how Valerian could be a Major in his early 20s! Anyway yeah it was a good watch but not out of this world sadly, I think 4*s is being generous but 3* is too little – maybe a 3 ½ movie really.

Rating: ****



Atomic Blonde (15) – what’s it about? Lorraine an undercover agent travels to Berlin to find a list of double agents.

So hmmmm what can I say about this one without giving too much away, well its very sexy and brutal at the same time, lots of violence and some story to boot – in the face with stilettos on. It’s quite dark and none of this blight flashy lighting which makes it gritty so along with the non-airy-fairy fighting stuff – it’s more to the nose brawling in parts that makes it pretty ouch violent it and gives it something different. I can’t really say much more without giving it away so I’m going to shut up and just say I very much liked this one J

Rating: ****



The Dark Tower (12A) – what’s it about? Jake discovers his dreams are real and travels to another world where he joins up with Roland to save The Dark Tower and the universe from evil.

I wasn’t sure what this one was going to be like as I thought before seeing it man I hope this isn’t going to be following around a really annoying kid who really gets on my tits for the whole film. Well it did follow around a kid for pretty much the entire movie but he wasn’t an annoying kid so it made it ok to watch. The first part of the movie was pretty slow and it took a while for it to get going but once it did it was really going good. It was well acted and had a good story – a good Stephen King adaption so if you like his stories then you’ll probably like it. I would say it again is in between 4* and 3* so maybe a 3 ½ movie really.

Rating: ****



The Hitman’s Bodyguard (15) – what’s it about? Michael a bodyguard must get his new client who’s a hitman to court to testify.

I wasn’t sure on this one before seeing it, I thought it was going to be a complete pile of pants but it was better than I thought it was going to be – but as that was complete shite it’s probably not that hard to beat. It gave a few heh moments but nothing lol funny for me, it was annoying in parts and the story wasn’t too in-depth as it was just more an action-comedy – you know a leave your brain at the door movie. The only good side to it was the action; the car chases, gun-slinging and fighting were pretty good so that made up for the averageness of the humour. Think it’s one of those if you have a certain sense of humour you’ll like it but if not then you’ll just be like meh it’s alright.

Rating: ***


Monday, 24 July 2017

Movie: War for the Planet of the Apes (12A)

War for the Planet of the Apes (12A) – what’s it about? The Humans and Apes continue to battle it out for survival.

Well what to say about this one…in short I thought it was pretty dull – well the second part was better and had more oomph to it but the whole thing was just way too long and drawn out. It really felt like they were milking the franchise with this one, it did though have a few good moments and the graphics were top notch but that was about it really. I’m maybe being a bit harsh with my rating, it’s probably more a 2 ½ stars movie but yeah it was generally meh. If you are a hard-core fan you’ll probably like this more than I did but if you’re not then I’d maybe wait until you can find it in the shops for no more than a 5er.

Rating: **


Monday, 10 July 2017

Movies: Transformers: The Last Knight (12A), Despicable Me 3 (U), Baby Driver (15) & Spider-Man: Homecoming (12A)

Transformers: The Last Knight (12A) – what’s it about? The race is on to find an artifact that’s hidden on earth before it can be used to destroy the world.

I’m not too sure what to say that you don’t already know if you’ve seen any of the previous movies as it really continues on in the same lines. It’s what you expect really from a Transformers movie, some fighting, story and some big ass robots. It was good but I don’t know, it just seemed really long, I thought I’d been in the cinema for way over 3 hours but it wasn’t that long. It was very flashy as all these films are, lots of graphics and good scenes with the Transformers. It was a good piece of entertainment – a good mindless movie but nothing special. If you like this rebooted Transformers universe then you’ll probably enjoy it.

Rating: ***




Despicable Me 3 (U) – what’s it about? Gru finds out he has a long lost twin brother, the pair meet up and Gru is persuaded to teach him how to be a villain by committing one last crime.

So the third adventure of Gru and the gang and what to say, I’m not sure – I liked it but it just didn’t seem as strong or funny as the previous movies. I think though it’s one of those gems that when you watch it again you pick up on more. It still had some good moments and it’s generally a fun movie for all the family. If you like the previous ones it’s still definitely worth a watch.

Rating: ***



Baby Driver (15) – what’s it about? Baby is a get-away driver who is forced to work for a crime boss until his debts are repaid.

I wasn’t sure what to expect from this one, the adverts looked good but I was really pleasantly surprised with how great this one was. It had a good story-line, characters and action too. There were a couple of bits that felt like my heart had skipped a beat – I really got engrossed by it. I would definitely recommend seeing it if you like a good crime/robbers movie as it was very well done!

Rating: ****




Spider-Man: Homecoming (12A) – what’s it about? After the battle with Captain America, Peter Parker goes back to being a friendly neighbourhood Spider-Man but a villain doesn’t leave where he lives alone for long…

Well first off this isn’t an origin story of Spider-Man which was pretty refreshing as that’s been done over and over again. This I think is probably one of the better Spider-Man movies to date, well most definitely better than the last one anyway. It is very much in line with the current Marvel movies style and fits in nicely with the universe they’ve built up on the big screen appearances, especially with a guest staring of Tony Stark and other bits to link back too. Anyway yep, a well done movie, some laughs, some action and a cool-ass wing suit I totally want, it’s definitely worth checking out if you like all the Marvel movies.

Rating: ****


Monday, 19 June 2017

Movie: Wonder Woman (12A) & The Mummy (2017) (15)

Wonder Woman (12A) – what’s it about? Diana an Amazon travels with a human to the frontline to destroy the God of War.

So I didn’t know what to expect with this one as DC movies have been hit and miss – it could be good like Suicide Squad or awful like Batman vs Superman. Anyway they did this good and in my opinion it’s the best DC movie since Batman (the Christian Bale versions) so I came out super happy. So as you probably know if you’ve read my blog in the past I’m not a fan of movies set in the past especially those set in the World Wars as it’s usually really upsetting but this was done very well indeed – and in all it was a very empowering movie. If you are a DC fan or a Wonder Woman fan or both then this is worth checking out – just don’t expect it to be all laughs and light-heartedness like the Marvel movies because it’s much more like DC – gritty and dark.

Rating: ****




The Mummy (2017) (15) – what’s it about? An Ancient Egyptian mummified princess wakens in the present day and sets out to restore her power.

So throughout this film I thought it was a 12A and thought hey that’s a pretty scary, I didn’t realise until I came out that it was a 15 – in short it’s probably not a movie for the younger audience! I know a lot of people have been slating this but I think it depends on what you expect and the movies you like. If you’re into action movies and maybe a bit of light horror with a dash of humour then this will probably be right up your street. It did what it said on the tin really, mummy ahhhh and action bang bang – you know the usual guns, explosions and running. If you go to see it and expect it to be nothing too original, just watch it for what it is and don’t analyse it then you’ll probably like it. It may not be the best film out but it’s definitely not the worst!

Rating: ***


Wednesday, 31 May 2017

Movies: Alien: Covenant (15), Pirates of the Caribbean: Salazar’s Revenge (12A), Kings Arthur: Legend of the Sword (12A), The Cable Guy (DVD - 12), The Little Mermaid (DVD – U)

Alien: Covenant (15) – what’s it about? The crew of a colony ship answer a distress call from an unknown world.

I’ve been waiting for this since it was announced and I was hoping it would answer some questions left over from Prometheus and it does! – don’t worry though it’s done in a way so you don’t have to of seen that movie. It’s a good survival horror, though it’s more on the story side than the action, which is good – I like a good sci-fi story and it also reveals some information about the Xenomorph. If you’re after a high action movie or one that’s really really scary then this might not be what you’re looking for, if though on the other hand you’re an Alien fiend and like a bit of sci-fi-horror then this is probably right up your street.

Rating: ****




Pirates of the Caribbean: Salazar’s Revenge (12A) – what’s it about? Captain Jack and his band of misfit pirates go on a quest to find the Trident of Poseidon to stop the onslaught of Captain Salazar and his living dead crew.

It’s been a while since the last pirate adventure and when I heard of this one I wanted to see it but at the same time wondered if the franchise had been done to death – though this is said to be the last movie. It was as expected in the sense that it followed the feel of the previous movies very well – the usual shenanigans and comedy value splashed with a bit of action. It was pretty well done and wrapped the series up nicely which was good. I think I pretty much liked it but wasn’t quite sure if to give it 3 or 4 stars as it’s kind of in the middle. Anyway if you like Captain Jack and the stories of his misadventures then I would definitely check it out!


Rating: ****




Kings Arthur: Legend of the Sword (12A) – what’s it about? A tyrannous King is using dark forces to try to control England, can the unknown legitimate air to the throne – Arthur – claim the sword from the stone and defeat his enemies.

I went to this as I’d seen the adverts as it looked pretty good, and it was don’t get me wrong, it was just a little bit more fantasy than I thought the King Arthur story would be – but it’s a guy pulling a magical sword from a stone what kind of reality was I expecting?!?!?! Yeah the fighting was all flashy with random camera angles – it reminded me of 300 but with a lot more clothing. I don’t know I think they tried to make it overly English as well so I just couldn’t take it seriously. It was ok though but there were just things that didn’t fit right in my head.

Rating: ***



The Cable Guy (DVD - 12) – what’s it about? After Steven breaks up with his girlfriend he moves into a new apartment and the cable guy befriends him.

I think everyone must have seen this during their lifetime – right? Anyway if your one of the weirdos that haven’t, I thought I’d bring it to your attention. Yes I just called you a weirdo! Seriously though this is an amusing film, it’s a good comedy which is classic Jim Carey, hopefully you know his style – so if you find his other movies hilarious then you’ll probably like this one too. Though this movie touches on some deeper subjects (such as mental health) when you begin to think about it, it’s still a pretty light-hearted watch. It comes with some classic lines too which will stick with you!

Rating: ***



The Little Mermaid (DVD – U) – what’s it about? Ariel is a mermaid and dreams of being human. She meets a guy and seeks the help of a witch so she can find true love.

I haven’t seen this in years and I’ve really had the craving to re-watch it for months – and managed to borrow a copy from a friend. It bought back some fond memories and it was refreshing to watch a really nice and easy movie which lightens the mood. Yep this one is most definitely a classic and is all-round family entertainment; it is definitely worth a re-watch – even if to get all the songs stuck in your head!

Rating: ****


Friday, 28 April 2017

Movies: Ghost in the Shell (2017) (12A), Free Fire (15), Fast & Furious 8 (12A), Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2 (12A), Bewitched (DVD – PG), Alien Autopsy (DVD – 12) & Drive (DVD – 18)

Ghost in the Shell (2017) (12A) – what’s it about? A live action version of the anime. Set in near future where humans are modified with technology, the story follows the task force that tracks down criminals and terrorists.

I know people are slating this one and I have to say I’ve seen the anime a few times but that was quite a while ago so keep in mind my opinion is that of a casual viewer and not a franchise nut. I thought this was done really well considering it was a live action version, I didn’t think it was going to mesh so well with the real world or how it would be, they did a good job. I guess our effects technology has gone forward enough to give it a bit of justice. I liked it, it gave some good nods to the original, some of the iconic scenes are still present and it’s pretty well acted with enough action and story to give a good glimpse into the world. Yep I definitely liked it.

Rating: ****



Free Fire (15) – what’s it about? Set in the 1970s it is the story of a gun deal going down, it goes wrong and everyone tries to survive.

I didn’t know what to expect at all with this one, I hadn’t really researched into it as sometimes I like a little surprise with movies because if you look them up sometimes you end up with too many spoilers. Well what to say…this was a pretty damn funny movie; I don’t know it’s got a bit of gun violence, bad language and well it’s just funny. It goes back to basics, no big locations or flashy effects (except the guns and blood) so it was refreshing to see. It may not have been what I was expecting as I just thought it was going to be serious, not realising the humour side of it. It’s definitely worth a look just because lol.

Rating: ****



Fast & Furious 8 (12A) – what’s it about? Dom’s in retirement and gets pulled into a criminal plot against his will, and the team assemble to take down the anarchist.

Seriously there has been eight of these movies now and I don’t think they have really ever changed – still the same thing: high speed car chases, gun fights, violence and really over the top stunts oh and of course not forgetting everyone being super-hot in really tiny clothing that doesn’t leave much to the imagination. So in short it’s exactly what’s expected and a teenage boys dream come true. If you didn’t like the others there’s no point in seeing this one but if you did then you’ll probably love it.

Rating: ***




Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2 (12A) – what’s it about? The gang is pursued for their criminal endeavours and Peter finds his father.

I couldn’t help but get a seat at the midnight screening of this one, well technically it was a double bill with the first one too just because awesomeness. This one definitely is a great one, it’s extremely funny, I liked the story but I felt it was a little lacking – I don’t know it just didn’t have as much oomph as the first one. It’s again got some really good action scenes and I absolutely love the different characters and races in this, so refreshing to see some good alien races and all different colours under the sun, it’s a very bright universe out there! Anyway yes this is a bloody good movie and if you love the first then you’ll probably love this one too. So why I am I only giving it four stars? I just didn’t feel the story enough – though maybe this could have been because the time that I went to see it.


Rating: ****



Bewitched (DVD – PG) – what’s it about? A movie based on the Bewitched TV series being remade.

I remember watching Bewitched re-runs growing up and I liked it a lot. I saw this movie when it first came out so it was nice to re-watch it. This was an interesting take on the series and it was nice that it was a telling of the story rather than trying to re-make the original; a nice refreshing take on the re-boots that happen a lot now-a-days. It has some good story, humour and general feel good moments in it, but in parts it was a bit annoying but then again I think it’s supposed to be – suppose this shows good acting. Yes, well if you liked the TV series then this is worth a little visit.

Rating: ***



Alien Autopsy (DVD – 12) – what’s it about? Two guys buy a film using money from a mobster, the film gets damaged and they try to rectify the problem by recreating the movie and palming it off as the real deal.

I’ve watched this one a bit late, when I’d seen it for sale in the past there must have been a reason putting me off it but this time when I picked it up I just thought what the hell. I was actually pleasantly surprised; even though it wasn’t the best film in the universe it did give me a little chuckle in parts, Ant and Dec are basically their usual selves so not much extra acting on their part but it does work really well. I’d say this is worth a look if you are looking for a bit of humour and something to pass the time.

Rating: ***



Drive (DVD – 18) – what’s it about? A guy travels to America and is pursued by some mobsters.

I don’t think I’ve seen this since the early 2000s and it’s still a good bit of martial arts mayhem. It’s a little dated now (the astronaut cafĂ© at the end lol best image of the 90s going) but it’s still a good watch. It’s a bit over the top in parts but that’s the way martial art films should be. There’s a bit of a story which is nice and some good humour that gave me a giggle. It’s worth a look if you like some fighting action.

Rating: ***


Monday, 27 March 2017

Movies: Beauty and the Beast (2017) (PG), Get Out (15), Noah (DVD – 12) & Snatch (DVD – 18)

Beauty and the Beast (2017) (PG) – what’s it about? A cursed prince must find true love before the petals fall from a rose and the curse remains for all time.

So a live action version of the Disney classic…how does it fair? Pretty good actually, it sticks pretty closely to the original, there’s just been a few bits added which give a little more to it. It was as expected – extremely girlie but it’s bearable as there’s not too much that makes you want to vom…but be warned you will come out with the songs stuck in your head!

Rating: ***



Get Out (15) – what’s it about? A man goes to meet his girlfriend’s family for the first time and all is not what it seems.

I didn’t really know much about this one before I went to see it so it was a little surprising. It’s like a thriller/horror, a good concept that did leave me wanting to shout “just get out” in the cinema. I can’t really say much though without spoiling it, maybe just don’t expect gore or anything of the sort because it’s more on the thriller side of things.

Rating: ***



Noah (DVD – 12) – what’s it about? Humanity has destroyed the world; Noah receives a message from God about the great flood and sets out to build an ark.

So what to say about this one…hmmm if you hadn’t guessed it by the title then just to make it clear this is based on the bible story. Even though I’m not religious at all (far from it being a Pagan) I do like all these newer bible story movies and I don’t know why. This one is pretty dark in parts, some violence, some story and well some weird shit, it definitely makes for a good watch.

Rating: ***



Snatch (DVD – 18) – what’s it about? Various criminals try to steal a diamond from another thief.

I thought this one deserved a re-watch as I hadn’t seen it since it originally came out back at the turn on the century and even though it’s a little old it’s still great and hasn’t dated too much. Its bit of a comedy but not one for the youngens, a different take on the criminal underworld – it’s got some random characters and good situation humour to boot. It’s definitely worth a revisit.

Rating: ****